Here’s the thing: relationships can be hard.
All relationships can be hard, but particularly close relationships between lovers. Here’s why… Whenever you put two people together, there will always be differences: differences in opinion; differences in expression; differences in the way you see things; differences in the way you feel about lifestyle, and on important decisions. The thing is that that’s not the problem. We’re all different, and therefore it’s not possible to agree with each other 100% of the time. It’s what we do with those differences in opinion; those different expressions about things and how you see them.
It’s about how we deal with making the important decisions, and working together through the hard things. It’s about not always having to win. Love isn’t a competition, and relationships are not about always having to be right. It’s just not possible for them to be. No-one is always right. Not even me 🙂
Real, true, meaningful relationships are possible, but we can tear down our own house and damage the trust if we refuse to be flexible.
My theory is that our lives are like snowflakes. Each of them are different, and no two can be thought of as exactly the same; and yet when they’re put under different temperatures; when they are heated, they all become wet. Very wet. Puddles and running water.
Human beings are a bit like that I think. None of us are the same. No two of us are exactly alike, even identical twins. We each have our own story, the things that have helped to make us who we are, both the good and bad experiences that mould us and cause us to have a life view that differs from each others. Even brothers or sisters brought up in the same home, with the same parents and the same circumstances will react and behave differently. Their course may very well be quite different because of the choices they make, and on the onset of the behaviours they choose.
Our choices, decisions and reactions are the only things we have any true control over. We cannot control another person. We cannot change our past. We cannot control the hands of time, but we can make sure that in our futures – in the time we have here on earth that we choose to be the best that we can be. We are all the same under fire. We’re all human, but how we turn out and what we make of our lives comes down primarily to our reactions to the circumstances that confront us. Sometimes we feel helpless like a melted snowflake, like we are running downstream…unable to change our course; that our circumstances are forcing us down stream. Yet we, unlike water, are able to choose to change and stand up for what’s important to us – as well as make something better; to be better, and to create something new.
I believe in second chances. I believe even when love eludes us for a time there is still hope. I believe there is someone who will love us for who we are, and for who will appreciate all that makes us the person we have travelled our own road to become. I believe in lives made brand new, and I believe in the power of standing still in the middle of the raging river and choosing to do something different. Be the best you that you can be, and just see what you can do when you put your whole heart and soul into positive changes.
Transformation comes from the inside out. So the upshot is to share things. Realise that being together will always mean change; compromise; taking the journey together; rejoicing in the differences, and being the best that we can be, and making a life – not just expecting it to happen.
Love and blessings to you on the journey… Ashlee North