When you first feel that feeling, that knowing, that stirring inside your heart… what we call falling in love… it’s easy to give in to this crazy idea that you have to impress him, be just what you think he wants you to be and to mirror his likes completely.
Sometimes, when we really like someone and are sinking into the beauty of it all, we believe that if we make ourselves more attractive, by showing him the ‘perfect’ girlfriend, that he will love us more, want us more, and find us irresistible.
It’s so important that we don’t do this. When we lose ourselves in another person, when we mirror them to try to impress him, we lose a part of us.
Eventually, if the relationship goes the distance, the real us is going to come out anyway. The truth will always come out… Maybe the things we said we liked doing – for instance camping or watching action movies – might become the very thing that we wished we’d been true about when we started.
It’s so much better if we are honest in the first place. I know it’s so easy to fall into his arms, do all the things you wouldn’t normally do, and then maybe later have to be real, but relationships based on a pretend you won’t last.
If he wants you, if you want him, then it has to be for the whole of you and the real truth of who you are, what’s important to you and what you like to do too.
When you can build a relationship with both of you enjoying each other’s favourite things, then you’re on the right track. If one person constantly gives in, if one person changes themselves completely, eventually the pressure cooker will boil over and ruin everything you worked so hard to create.
Love is truly a two way experience. True love is about two people loving all the bits and pieces of each other.
Just be you… be the best, most beautiful version of you, but please don’t ever lose yourself to anyone.
The right man – the man for you – will love you more for being the real you, the fun to be with you, the you who knows her own heart and mind, the one who is strong and gorgeous and even wild and feisty… but never a push over… always a fine, true lover who adores every aspect of the life you share together.
Just be you…
And then you will be truly irresistible.
Love and blessings,