Memories that Hurt – The Letting Go that Heals

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Until today I held onto some memories from the past… I played with them, dreamt them, thought the scenarios over and over. The hurt, yes it was very real – the person who caused me the pain, yes he was very constant in my mind…

But I realised today that the only person being hurt by my thoughts was me! My turmoil only caused me to sink deeper into the sharp agony which caused the nightmarish condition, the angst and the shame of mistakes I had made and the memories which stopped me from healing because of the wounds of yesterday.

So today I made a decision – No more thinking over and over the “what ifs” and the “if only I had done something differently”. No more wishing for an outcome other than what actually happened. No more giving in to the pain.

I wanted so much to be able to fly again without the bondage of remembering the bad times, the regret, and the stress of over-thinking things which I couldn’t possibly change. I choose to move forward and leave all this hurt behind.

I wonder if you ever feel the same. I wonder if there is something you wish would leave your memory banks and set you free.

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Can it be done I questioned?  Can I feel whole again? Can I feel like someone living for the moment – a wonderfully made creature in a beautifully unique world? Can you?

I feel today that it can happen! I believe that if I mark this day as the one I gave up on the negatives and embrace the positives of my life that I can begin afresh. And so can you!

I know your journey is different to mine, but I encourage you, as I encourage myself, allow yourself to heal by forgetting on purpose. Allow yourself to start a new phase by giving whatever it is that holds you captive away. Let it go. Don’t let yourself dwell on the ugly anymore. Free your mind, your heart, your whole self, and fly again. And when you find yourself thinking those thoughts again, banish them. Tell them they no longer have power over you and take away their hold over your life. Forget on Purpose!

I’m determined to do this –  and if you struggle, just as I have, with something so painful that it sears into your very soul, I implore you to try, as I am trying, to live in the present, leave the past behind and concentrate on a better, brighter day!

I wish you every success, lots of love, a beautiful future and only the best for always.

Ashlee North – Author of 8 Published Novels full of Life and Freedom

http://ashleenorthauthor.com/

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Christmas is My Favourite Time of the Year!

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Christmas is my absolute favourite time of the year!

Merry Christmas, lots of joy, and every blessing for this special time, beyond and always… May you be loved as you would like to in your heart of hearts, give love as if it was your last day on earth, and find the beauty in every thing and every person around you! May your soul sing with the angels, this Christmas Season, and may you be truly, blissfully, happy!

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Love to you all…
Ashlee North – Author
http://ashleenorthauthor.com/

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Pictures from my life – Travelling the Entire Country

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When I was young we moved a lot – I mean a whole lot… We travelled all over Australia, far and wide, and settled for short periods of time in each of the far corners of the country.

The ocean and green hills, the brown dryness of the outback- all these things I shared with my sibling, who was my travel companion and my friend, as well as being my sister.

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My memories of games in the car with her and the world whizzing by are some of the most exciting as a child. I cherish the thoughts of falling asleep in the back of the car and waking up in a whole new place, sometimes beautiful and sometimes dry and arid. It was magical at times. I recall opening tins of peas, beans and baby potatoes and seeing thousands upon thousands of tiny butterflies appear from nowhere to drink the juice which we tipped out of the cans. I remember my father, sleeping under the car to avoid the searing heat and a full water bag, which hung on the front of the car and miraculously produced cold refreshing water to drink.

I’ll never forget the night, pitch dark, with only the lights of the white Kingswood to guide us, where dad decided to stop just before what he thought was a large playing field in a park, for the night. What appeared to be a huge expanse of grass, wasn’t and in the morning we woke to find a massive lake instead. What a relief he stopped driving.

white kingswood

I remember the morning he decided that the engine needed cleaning, because it had accumulated so much dust from the road. He completely doused the motor in petrol fuel, before we set off for more driving and when he turned the key the engine burst into flame. Mum still doesn’t find that story funny.

There was another time, when we were pulling a trailer, full of all our earthly treasures, up a steep winding mountain range. Suffice to say, the trailer wheel slipped just over the edge of the road, jumped off the tow ball and proceeded to careen down the edge of the mountain and into the valley below. Mum didn’t find that funny either.

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I remember new houses and apartments, van parks and roadside stops, exciting places to explore, towns and cities which thrilled me and new people to meet, but most of all I remember the adventure – being free – starting all over and living life to the full.

It was a wonderful way to spend my childhood and joyously I have travelled almost the entire length and breadth of Australia. These days I stay still in one spot, a spot I love, on the Gold Coast in Queensland, but every now and then the wandering spirit takes over and I need to go on a road trip.

father and daughter

Dad has passed away now – a year ago the other day – and I miss his smile, his laughter and the way nothing was ever too hard for him. He loved us with abundance and made both my sister and I feel like princesses. Thankfully we still have my mom. She is an inspiration and has lived a hard life, but she also showed us the beauty of the world – how to make fairy dresses from tissues, how to leave little trinkets for them in magic gardens, how to find joy in the little things. She gave me all the reason I needed to write a fantasy fairytale…

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They were beautiful days – good memories – which inspired me to write and to share the adventure of life.

I hope you enjoy your own adventure as I did, and still do, mine…

Love and blessings,

Ashlee North – Author http://ashleenorthauthor.com/

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Pictures from my life – The House of Horrors

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Someone or something else was there. It was watching. It was lurking. I think it was a she, I am not sure, but in the house I lived in, with my family for four years, things were not normal, not natural… It was eerie. Out in the yard a young girl sat, almost every day upon the swing set, rocking quietly… I could see her – but I don’t know that everyone could.

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In the middle of the night footsteps, heavy thumping footsteps roamed the hallways and traversed the stairs. Strange shadows would darken the walls and figures would appear, barely seen, but still there and moving through our home.

The people who lived there before us left in a panic, their daughters and son unable to sleep, dreaming dreams of things that no child should ever see. We moved in and it was the same for us as it was for them. Nightmarish visions and the subconscious realisation that we were not alone.

ghost6How many times did I turn around, feeling that someone was watching? How many times did I see and accept the presence of some other worldly thing as just part of life? In my childish understanding it became normal, however frightening, and I both feared and watched in awe each night, as mystical figures, some with evil faces, some more kind, danced around my bed.

It caused me to wonder, as snippets of my dreams still haunt me all these years later, are we alone? How much don’t we know? What is happening that we cannot see and understand and if we knew would we want to see it?

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Is it possible that we have ever present others around us, with us, watching us and taking part in our lives without us even knowing? Is it possible that we are not just ourselves as we know it, but that there is so much more to who we are? Is this all imagining? Is it fiction? Or is it more plausible than we think?

So I wrote this book. “Unborn Essence”. 9781452525891_COVER_FQA.indd

It’s about exactly that. It’s been flagged by Hollywood to be made into a movie. Yes, it’s fiction, but it is made up of many questions, the things I sometimes wonder. Why would we be alone, when there is so much room for more? Maybe we have guardians, helpers, someone who makes us who we are – maybe we have an Essence inside us that changes us…Maybe if you read “Unborn Essence” you would understand and agree that there are possibilities, probabilities and things beyond us that are yet to be known.

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After a life time of situations out of the ordinary, I believe there are more questions than we have answers for. Come, help me find the answer…

Ashlee North – Internationally Acclaimed Author of Eight Novels http://ashleenorthauthor.com/

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Pictures from my life – Number Two – The Ghostly Girl on the Swings

old swing set 2 The Ghostly Girl on the Swings

I’m not one for imaginary friends. I was always quite well grounded, but from the ages of 6 – 10 we lived in a house – an old farm house – one from which the previous family fled.

There was something there. Many times at night we would hear footsteps on the creaky boards. Sometimes a misty figure would catch your eye. In bed at night ghostly images would tuck me into bed, but I always thought it must somehow be my mother, for what else could it be?

Apparitions entered our room at night, the room I shared with my sister, and we saw them circle the perimeter of the room, stopping every now and then to check in on us, but we never talked about it – just accepted the odd parade as a child does, not really understanding, just taking it all in and blindly believing it to be a part of life.

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The girl on the swing was different. She was opaque, although still blurry. She had dark brown hair and eyes as black as black can be. Sitting, swinging, she said nothing and very rarely looked directly at me. She just rocked back and forth. Usually she was there. On one or two occasions I would go to the back yard to find her missing, but for the most part I saw her every day. She showed no fear, no emotion at all, except that I could tell she was sad – very very sad. My sister saw her too, but again we never talked about it.

old swing set

In later years as adults we have talked about the house, a house which has now been knocked down, and we – my sister and I – know now that we saw the same things, dreamt the same dreams at night, and saw the ghostly figures who danced around the walls and kissed us goodnight.

Sometimes I still dream those dreams and I wake up frightened and longing for safety from the shapes and sounds which disturb my sleep. Sometimes I see the door to that bedroom, the one I feared, but had to live in, and it chills me, even though it is only a dream.

No wonder I write books such as my third or fourth book “Wake me up so I can Dream” and the last one “Unborn Essence” for the paranormal and supernatural have visited me and stay with me still.

I can still picture the girl in the back yard. I wonder if she still swings there?

Ashlee North – Author http://ashleenorthauthor.com/

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Pictures from my life – Number One – The Corgi Dog

corgi pup2The Corgi Dog

When I was about five we had a dog – a little corgi dog – cute and good tempered and very very loyal. I remember the cold days, when the frost on the ground chilled your toes and my face and nose was impossible to feel because the whipping wind caused it to be so cold. I walked what seemed to a small child a long way to the bus stop at the end of the long driveway out of the farm we lived on and every day this gorgeous creature would walk with me, keeping me company and making me feel less alone.

I was very young and everything seemed so much bigger. Having seen that farm again and that driveway as an adult, they are not so big and not as far as I remember – still at the time the bus stop seemed so far away.

Every afternoon, without fail, I would ride the bus home and every afternoon sitting at the bus stop was the ever present company of the Corgi Dog – Toby. Somehow he knew what time it was. Something in his undeniably correct time-clock he knew it was time to meet me and joined me on the walk home. I remember still the way it felt when he ran to me and made me feel welcome and safe again.

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One afternoon he became locked in the laundry somehow and the story is still clear in my mind of how he scratched and pawed at the door for ages, trying to get out so he could come to meet me. I can still picture the scratch marks on the door.

When I got off the bus that day, I remember crying because my little friend wasn’t there to greet me and I remember the worry I felt that something must have happened to him, but in the end he was just locked in.

little girl crying

From that day on his care for this one little girl was constant. He was loyal until the day he became too old for this world and we eventually got a new Corgi Dog and we called him Toby2.

I’ll never forget those freezing days, the icy air chilling me to my bones, but more than that I will never forget the unwavering love of my small friend, Toby.

Love and blessings to you all from Ashlee North – Author http://ashleenorthauthor.com/ my books2

Scarily Possible… Mind Control Plausible… Love Hopeful… The Story Unfolds

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UNBORN ESSENCE by Ashlee North   “Piercing the void—the nothing, the darkness—a light, glowing soft tones of red—pulsing, insisting—strobed from behind an unobtrusive nothingness, a slit in the fabric of the universe, where more often there was only inky black, millions of miles of it. And in this light, the only brightness there is, is nothing, nothing but impossible-to-tether, uncontainable Essence. It travelled but moved not, it existed but rode the shaft of brilliance without being noticed. Essence in itself looks like the ever-present lack of something, for it cannot be seen, except by its ripple, its almost unseen glow, but it is most certainly there. It is what makes all humans into who they will be. It is the anything which makes them one way or another. It is what we are— We are Essence.’

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“It is Christmas in New York when a baby is born. Named Christina Elizabeth by her parents, the baby’s Essence-her life force and caretaker of her soul-feels the glorious ecstasy of belonging, knowing wholeness, and oneness with its human being now home. Meanwhile, in the same hospital precinct, a baby boy is born. Although he is safe and warm, he will sadly not know the same type of security or peaceful existence, for the boy is unwittingly involved in a tug of war-destined to be hurt and cursed by an Unborn Essence who has attached himself to the baby, determined to use his powers on an unsuspecting mind. Unfortunately as Jonathon Daniel grows older, he creates complete havoc around himself, perplexing his parents and his doctors. But what he does not know is that Christina has begun to dream about him, convinced there is something special about him. Now only time will tell if the two humans will fall in love, with help from several Essences-while the Unborn Essence watches with interest and malice. Unborn Essence shares a fantastical journey into the subconscious and spiritual that opens the mind to new possibilities as Essences work to unite souls on Earth and Unborn Essences seek to destroy them.”

Unborn Essence

FIVE STAR AMAZON REVIEW BY GAYLE THOMPSON

“I’m not going to give anything away in this review, merely give an idea of what you might find inside these pages.

We talk about someone’s essence, the essence of a person, or the essence of a person’s soul. This book is about essences—unborn and indwelling essences, which have their own “beings.” An unborn essence, in this book, is an essence that tries to circumnavigate the “system” of being assigned to a soul at birth, and tries to latch onto a human later through trickery, usually causing much havoc, as the indwelling essence tries to fight it off.

The human is not aware of these essences. Although, some very sensitive humans, such as Christina Elizabeth, seem more sensitive to the “unseen.” Christina has dreams of a boy in trouble. Could that boy be Jonathan Daniel, someone Christina is attracted to, but who seems to get into trouble from time to time in a way that is contradictory to who he really is? Can Christina do anything to help him?

And what about Tess? An unborn essence is tricking her into believing her dreams are real, dreams “it” takes her to often, dreams in which Damien seems real, creating chaos in her marriage to Jacob.

And who—or what—is Patrick? I guess we’ll have to wait for the sequel to find out (or to get a better idea).

This is a very thought-provoking book and is really well set up. We hear from the essences, “The Watchers Society” (a secret society on the internet), vivid life-threatening dreams, disturbing newspaper clips, and well-developed characters.

I would recommend this book to those readers who really like something different, which seems to be the trademark of Ashlee North’s work.”

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See all Ashlee’s books at http://ashleenorthauthor.com/